i am old (part 2)

i am tired.

i just had two cups of tea but it’s not helping.

brain doesn’t feel sharp.

legs are sore for some reason. didn’t do anything today.

i am tired.

lately, i feel like i haven’t been doing anything right. just like a big fuck up. loser. idiot. dummy. dumbass. little idiot. failure.

ya know, them nice words.

i feel stretched. like nothing’s ever good enough.

i’m trying to not be such an idiot. such a guy. but then it feels like i’ve got like a billion other things to worry about.

a flood. a torrent. and i feel like a small man trying to move upstream.

i’m not so happy anymore.

i am tired.