the slow ones

all my stuff is in sf right now.

except for the laptop i’m writing on, my backpack, and a few other things.

feels like i’m a guest in my apartment now.

i’ve been having second thoughts about moving to sf. sure, it’s closer to work and it’s in the middle of sf, where everything’s happening.

but i think i’ve gotten used to berkeley. it’s a city that i have a pretty good grasp of, something i still can’t say about riverside. i guess that’s why it was so easy to disconnect from that city, i never really knew it.

berkeley, i know it’s pace. i know the places. i can almost give directions too. i know people. but i know that if i stick around for a bit, everyone i know will be gone. it’s a 4-5 year cycle (6 for some of you slackers). but it’s still…people.

it would be different if i was going back home. i knew for a fact that i didn’t want to do that. but in the back of my head, i sorta envy the people going back home. at least it’s a place that’s familiar, with family and even though i know most of my friends don’t want to stick around with their families, it’s nice to know that there’s this neurotic group of people who’ll put up with you and care for you. most of the time.

huh. is this homesickness? i honestly can say i never felt this way at all while at berkeley. i figure there were people who just went nuts freshman year. i’ve heard of people flying back to japan every weekend. i didn’t. school kept me busy. my dorm kept me busy. and there was always the smell of pot emanating from the 5th floor. nah, just kidding, didn’t try that stuff until the year after.

maybe i’m just crazy. maybe it’s because it’s 10am right now and i woke up at 8:30 on a sunday and now that feels late to me because i wake up at 7:30 everyday. it’s deathly quiet. i know everyone else won’t be up until way later.

all this time in my head is wearing me out.

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